Bell-ringer, Romeo and Juliet

Bell-ringer: Complete a free write on the topic below.

Topic: Pick one item from each list to make a creature and animal combination. Now write a short story or scene in which this creature appears.

List 1                                                           List 2

Vampire                                                    porcupine

Ninja                                                          armadillo

Zombie                                                       pig

Pirate                                                          goat

Mummy                                                     lobster

Clown                                                         possum

Romeo and Juliet... Sort of

N1: Once upon a time—

N2: NOPE!

N3: What?

N2: You can’t start Romeo and Juliet with “Once upon a time!”

N4: Why not?

N2: Do you know anything about this play? Romeo and Juliet is not a “Once upon a time” kind of play.

N5: How about this? (dramatic and eerie) It was a dark and dreary evening. There was not a person in sight; shadows shifted in and out of focus, searching for their next victims.

N3: Oh, I like this. How about… (adopts the same tone as N5) the shadows were actually the animated dead, looking for their next meal of brains.

N1: NO! You’ve gone too far.

N4: I’ve got it! In the streets of the Italian city of Verona, members of the Capulet and Montague families were continuing a decades-long fight.

N2: Finally! Some action.

Tybalt: Ben Montague, I have you now. I will punch you square in the teeth.

N5: You can’t do that. We’re in school.

Tybalt: Can I kick Mercutio in the shin?

N1: Afraid not. Why don’t you try a tame insult?

Tybalt: Um… your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!

N3: That was good!

Ben: How dare you! I shall slap you with the force of a thousand angry grandmothers!

N4: Still in school.

Ben: Okay, then, you’re a poisonous back-bunched toad!

Mercutio: Very nice, cousin! Away, Tybalt Capulet! Looking at your face makes me want to vomit, eat my vomit, and then vomit again!

N2: This was a little bloodier the last time I saw it.

N1: Soon after, Romeo, our forlorn—

N3: What?

N1: Despondent

N3: What?

N1: SAD!

N3: Oh.

N1: Anyway, Romeo joined his Montague family members.

Romeo: My heart feels like it has shattered into a million pieces and no glue, no gum, no staples could put it back together again.

Ben: That’s a bit dramatic.

Mercutio: Romeo, you fall in love just a little bit every day with someone new.

Romeo: ‘Tis true. But this time it is real. Yet… yet…

Ben: Spit it out.

Romeo: Rosaline loves me not.

Rosaline: That boy is WAY too dramatic for me.

Lord Montague: Imagine being his father!

Rosaline: I would prefer a splinter under my fingernail.

Ben: Dear cousin, join us tonight at a ball being thrown by Lord Capulet.

N5: A ball? No one said anything about a ball.

Lord Capulet: Hear ye, hear ye! Tonight, I will host a ball! All are invited—except for the dirty Montagues.

N4: See?

N5: Shut up.

Mercutio: Join us! Perhaps you will find another girl to love.

Romeo: I shall never love again!

Mercutio: Yeah, okay.

Ben: We shall wear masks to disguise ourselves, so the snooty Capulets won’t know we are there.

Mercutio: Won’t they figure it out if we are the only ones wearing masks?

Ben: Don’t ask questions.

N2: That evening, the three Montagues went to Lord Capulet’s palace. Nearly the whole town of Verona was there.

Lord Capulet: Except for the dirty Montagues!

Tybalt: Are you sure? I’m certain I can smell their stench.

Lady Capulet: No, that’s just Nurse. She had some broccoli this evening.

Nurse: So sorry.

Tybalt: And what about those three masked men?

Lady Capulet: Probably just some hideous people trying to prevent us from going blind.

N2: Suddenly, a beautiful young (stops suddenly) I’m sorry. Nurse, it smells terrible in here! I can barely speak without gagging!

Nurse: I said I was sorry!

N1: Juliet entered the room, looking like an angel sent from heaven. A very young angel. Too young.

N4: She was only thirteen.

N3: Thirteen!? I thought this play was about people in their twenties.

Romeo: Well I’m eighteen.

Ben: Is that legal?

Mercutio: Carry on!

Romeo: I have just seen the most beautiful creature. She is the corner piece to my puzzle—without her, I would be incomplete.

Mercutio: I think I am going to vomit.

Rosaline: See what I mean!

Ben: But Romeo, what about Rosaline?

Romeo: Who?

Ben: Rosaline. The girl you were in love with not two minutes ago.

Romeo: Who?

Ben: This is pointless. Go dance with your puzzle piece.

N1: And so he did.

N3: The whole evening, Romeo and Juliet danced with one another. Without much reason at all, they fell in love.

Romeo: I think I am in love.

Juliet: I think I am thirteen… and in love!

N4: Gross.

N2: All was perfect, until Tybalt realized there were some uninvited guests.

Tybalt: You rats! You fleas! You flea-covered rats! Get out! Get out! And tomorrow, we shall duel!

Mercutio: That seems harsh.

N5: And not allowed in school.

N1: The three Montagues left the party, but Romeo was not done looking at Juliet.

Romeo: I shall climb over Lord Capulet’s wall and call out to my beautiful… my beautiful… my beautiful whatever her name is.

N3: Juliet stood in front of her window that looked out onto the balcony.

Romeo: But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

N1: How romantic!

N5: Romantic? He just called her a flaming ball of gas.

N1: But a beautiful flaming ball of gas.

Juliet: Oh… whatever your name is…

N3: (whispers to Juliet) Romeo!

Juliet: Oh, Romeo. After seeing all of your dance moves tonight, I think I am in love!

Romeo: As am I! Let us marry! I will find us a preacher.

Preacher: Hello. Do you want to be married?

N3: Where did he come from?

Preacher: A church. Duh.

Juliet: Please, sir, will you marry us?

N2: And so they were married. Even though she was thirteen.

N4: Romeo had to flee before being caught by Lord Capulet.

Lord Capulet: Do I smell a Montague?

Lady Capulet: No dear. It was just Nurse.

Nurse: Sorry.

N5: Before being able to run away together, there was a duel between Mercutio and Tybalt.

Tybalt: Now I have you!

Romeo: NO! You can’t kill him!

N3: Even though Romeo tried to jump between the two, Tybalt was able to “stab” Mercutio.

Tybalt: Why was “stab” in quotes? Oh… we’re in school. Got it.

Mercutio: I’m dead?

N1: Yep.

Romeo: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Because you killed one of my family, I shall “stab” you, too!

Tybalt: I’m dead?

N2: Yep.

N1: The conveniently available preacher helped Romeo and Juliet create a plan to run away.

Preacher: So, Juliet, you are going to drink poison that will make it seem like you are dead. Then, Romeo will meet you at your family’s crypt.

N3: What?

N4: Big house for dead people.

N5: Gross.

Juliet: I guess I will drink this poison that just so happened to be here. Goodnight!
N2: Lord and Lady Capulet discovered Juliet and believed her to be dead.

Lord Capulet: Oh no! My sweet angel is dead!

Lady Capulet: Nurse, how could you let this happen!

Nurse: Sorry.

Lord Capulet: I guess we should take her body to our family’s big house for dead people.

N5: Gross.

Lady Capulet: And I shall die from grief… I’m dead.

N1: Unfortunately, Romeo never learned the whole plan.

N3: When he discovered Juliet, Romeo became quite dramatic.

Romeo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

N2: That was quite dramatic.

N4: And because poison was apparently easily acquired in Verona, he decided to poison himself.

Romeo: If I cannot be with my puzzle piece in life, I shall be joined with her in the great jigsaw in the sky!... I’m dead.

N2: As we all know, Juliet was just taking a drug-induced nap.

N1: When she awoke, she found her newly dead husband lying beside her.

Juliet: Romeo, wake up! Dear, alarm clocks haven't been invented, yet. I could make you some breakfast!

Nurse: Don’t make him broccoli.

Juliet: Romeo?... Romeo?

N3: But Romeo did not wake up.

N4: In distress—

N3: What?

N2: She was real upset.

N3: Oh.

N4: In distress, Juliet found Romeo’s dagger and stabbed herself with it.

Juliet: Though you thought calling me a big ball of gas was a compliment and I only knew you for less than a week, I still loved you… I’m dead.

N5: Having found their dead children, Lord Montague and Lord Capulet decided to end their families’ feud.

Lord Montague: Though I would prefer consuming glass over spending any time with your ugly face, I think we should fight no longer.

Lord Capulet: I agree. You slug for brains idiot.

N1: And so ends the romantic story of Romeo and Juliet.

N2: We hope you have learned a few things.

N3: Don’t fall in love too quickly.

N4: Don’t be over dramatic.

N5: And, most importantly, never let Nurse eat broccoli.