Bell-ringer: Complete a free write on the topic below.
Topic: Pick one item from each list to make a creature and
animal combination. Now write a short story or scene in which this creature
appears.
List 1
List 2
Vampire
porcupine
Ninja armadillo
Zombie pig
Pirate goat
Mummy
lobster
Clown
possum
Romeo and Juliet... Sort of
N1: Once
upon a time—
N2: NOPE!
N3:
What?
N2: You
can’t start Romeo and Juliet with
“Once upon a time!”
N4: Why
not?
N2: Do
you know anything about this play? Romeo
and Juliet is not a “Once upon a time” kind of play.
N5: How
about this? (dramatic and eerie) It was a dark and dreary evening. There was
not a person in sight; shadows shifted in and out of focus, searching for their
next victims.
N3: Oh,
I like this. How about… (adopts the same tone as N5) the shadows were actually
the animated dead, looking for their next meal of brains.
N1: NO! You’ve
gone too far.
N4: I’ve
got it! In the streets of the Italian city of Verona, members of the Capulet
and Montague families were continuing a decades-long fight.
N2:
Finally! Some action.
Tybalt:
Ben Montague, I have you now. I will punch you square in the teeth.
N5: You
can’t do that. We’re in school.
Tybalt: Can
I kick Mercutio in the shin?
N1:
Afraid not. Why don’t you try a tame insult?
Tybalt: Um…
your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!
N3: That
was good!
Ben: How
dare you! I shall slap you with the force of a thousand angry grandmothers!
N4:
Still in school.
Ben:
Okay, then, you’re a poisonous back-bunched toad!
Mercutio:
Very nice, cousin! Away, Tybalt Capulet! Looking at your face makes me want to
vomit, eat my vomit, and then vomit again!
N2: This
was a little bloodier the last time I saw it.
N1: Soon
after, Romeo, our forlorn—
N3:
What?
N1:
Despondent
N3:
What?
N1: SAD!
N3: Oh.
N1: Anyway,
Romeo joined his Montague family members.
Romeo:
My heart feels like it has shattered into a million pieces and no glue, no gum,
no staples could put it back together again.
Ben:
That’s a bit dramatic.
Mercutio:
Romeo, you fall in love just a little bit every day with someone new.
Romeo:
‘Tis true. But this time it is real. Yet… yet…
Ben:
Spit it out.
Romeo:
Rosaline loves me not.
Rosaline:
That boy is WAY too dramatic for me.
Lord
Montague: Imagine being his father!
Rosaline:
I would prefer a splinter under my fingernail.
Ben:
Dear cousin, join us tonight at a ball being thrown by Lord Capulet.
N5: A
ball? No one said anything about a ball.
Lord
Capulet: Hear ye, hear ye! Tonight, I will host a ball! All are invited—except
for the dirty Montagues.
N4: See?
N5: Shut
up.
Mercutio:
Join us! Perhaps you will find another girl to love.
Romeo: I
shall never love again!
Mercutio:
Yeah, okay.
Ben: We
shall wear masks to disguise ourselves, so the snooty Capulets won’t know we
are there.
Mercutio:
Won’t they figure it out if we are the only ones wearing masks?
Ben:
Don’t ask questions.
N2: That
evening, the three Montagues went to Lord Capulet’s palace. Nearly the whole
town of Verona was there.
Lord
Capulet: Except for the dirty Montagues!
Tybalt:
Are you sure? I’m certain I can smell their stench.
Lady
Capulet: No, that’s just Nurse. She had some broccoli this evening.
Nurse:
So sorry.
Tybalt:
And what about those three masked men?
Lady
Capulet: Probably just some hideous people trying to prevent us from going
blind.
N2:
Suddenly, a beautiful young (stops suddenly) I’m sorry. Nurse, it smells
terrible in here! I can barely speak without gagging!
Nurse: I
said I was sorry!
N1:
Juliet entered the room, looking like an angel sent from heaven. A very young
angel. Too young.
N4: She
was only thirteen.
N3:
Thirteen!? I thought this play was about people in their twenties.
Romeo:
Well I’m eighteen.
Ben: Is
that legal?
Mercutio:
Carry on!
Romeo: I
have just seen the most beautiful creature. She is the corner piece to my
puzzle—without her, I would be incomplete.
Mercutio:
I think I am going to vomit.
Rosaline:
See what I mean!
Ben: But
Romeo, what about Rosaline?
Romeo:
Who?
Ben:
Rosaline. The girl you were in love with not two minutes ago.
Romeo:
Who?
Ben:
This is pointless. Go dance with your puzzle piece.
N1: And
so he did.
N3: The
whole evening, Romeo and Juliet danced with one another. Without
much reason at all, they fell in love.
Romeo: I
think I am in love.
Juliet:
I think I am thirteen… and in love!
N4:
Gross.
N2: All
was perfect, until Tybalt realized there were some uninvited guests.
Tybalt:
You rats! You fleas! You flea-covered rats! Get out! Get out! And tomorrow, we
shall duel!
Mercutio:
That seems harsh.
N5: And
not allowed in school.
N1: The
three Montagues left the party, but Romeo was not done looking at Juliet.
Romeo: I
shall climb over Lord Capulet’s wall and call out to my beautiful… my
beautiful… my beautiful whatever her name is.
N3:
Juliet stood in front of her window that looked out onto the balcony.
Romeo: But soft, what light through yonder window
breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
N1: How romantic!
N5: Romantic? He just called her a flaming ball of
gas.
N1: But a beautiful flaming ball of gas.
Juliet: Oh… whatever your name is…
N3: (whispers to Juliet) Romeo!
Juliet: Oh, Romeo. After seeing all of your dance
moves tonight, I think I am in love!
Romeo: As am I! Let us marry! I will find us a
preacher.
Preacher: Hello. Do you want to be married?
N3: Where did he come from?
Preacher: A church. Duh.
Juliet: Please, sir, will you marry us?
N2: And so they were married. Even though she was
thirteen.
N4: Romeo had to flee before being caught by Lord
Capulet.
Lord Capulet: Do I smell a Montague?
Lady Capulet: No dear. It was just Nurse.
Nurse: Sorry.
N5: Before being able to run away together, there
was a duel between Mercutio and Tybalt.
Tybalt: Now I have you!
Romeo: NO! You can’t kill him!
N3: Even though Romeo tried to jump between the
two, Tybalt was able to “stab” Mercutio.
Tybalt: Why was “stab” in quotes? Oh… we’re in
school. Got it.
Mercutio: I’m dead?
N1: Yep.
Romeo: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Because you killed one of my family, I shall
“stab” you, too!
Tybalt: I’m dead?
N2: Yep.
N1: The conveniently available preacher helped
Romeo and Juliet create a plan to run away.
Preacher: So, Juliet, you are going to drink poison
that will make it seem like you are dead. Then, Romeo will meet you at your
family’s crypt.
N3: What?
N4: Big house for dead people.
N5: Gross.
Juliet: I guess I will drink this poison that just so happened to be here. Goodnight!
N2: Lord and Lady Capulet discovered Juliet and believed her to be dead.
Lord Capulet: Oh no! My sweet angel is dead!
Lady Capulet: Nurse, how could you let this happen!
Nurse: Sorry.
Lord Capulet: I guess we should take her body to
our family’s big house for dead people.
N5: Gross.
Lady Capulet: And I shall die from grief… I’m dead.
N1: Unfortunately, Romeo never learned the whole
plan.
N3: When he discovered Juliet, Romeo became quite
dramatic.
Romeo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
N2: That was quite dramatic.
N4: And because poison was apparently easily
acquired in Verona, he decided to poison himself.
Romeo: If I cannot be with my puzzle piece in life,
I shall be joined with her in the great jigsaw in the sky!... I’m dead.
N2: As we all know, Juliet was just taking a
drug-induced nap.
N1: When she awoke, she found her newly dead
husband lying beside her.
Juliet: Romeo, wake up! Dear, alarm clocks haven't been invented, yet. I could make you some breakfast!
Nurse: Don’t make him broccoli.
Juliet: Romeo?... Romeo?
N3: But Romeo did not wake up.
N4: In distress—
N3: What?
N2: She was real upset.
N3: Oh.
N4: In distress, Juliet found Romeo’s dagger and
stabbed herself with it.
Juliet: Though you thought calling me a big ball of
gas was a compliment and I only knew you for less than a week, I still loved
you… I’m dead.
N5: Having found their dead children, Lord Montague
and Lord Capulet decided to end their families’ feud.
Lord Montague: Though I would prefer consuming
glass over spending any time with your ugly face, I think we should fight no
longer.
Lord Capulet: I agree. You slug for brains idiot.
N1: And so ends the romantic story of Romeo and
Juliet.
N2: We hope you have learned a few things.
N3: Don’t fall in love too quickly.
N4: Don’t be over dramatic.
N5: And, most importantly, never let Nurse eat
broccoli.
